Dave's Big Adventure

Phew

2006-05-19T09:57:00.000-05:00

So I have like 5 minutes to myself. I have been double dipping lately. I work at the "Gulag" Monday thru Friday noon to nine then I drive 30 minutes south to bake bread until between one and two. I usually get home between 130 and 230. To bed between 2 and 3. Up at 930-10. All over again. The lady and I spent 30 minutes together, both awake, yesterday for the first time in 4 days. Last nught I got home at one, I slipped out early, and was in bed by quarter after. I don't even remember getting into bed. I slept until I woke up at 10. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. I am having the time of my life!!
The "Gulag" is losing it's shine for me. I snapped on a lady wednesday. She was whinig that our finance charges were illegal. I said no, it's perfectly legal and common. She then yelled for me to give her my real name so she can take me to the better business bureau and the attourney general. I said fine and told her. I also told her that because it was 5 dollars and 87 cents, I would waiver it for her. She started yelling, see see you wouldn't waive it if it wasn't illegal!! I tried as hard as I could not to say it but I blurted out, "Ma'am, it's not that it's illegal it's that it's 5 dollars and 87 cents. I can go home and find that in my couch cushions!" The call ended very soon after that.
I hate people.
I am trying to do the Hike for Discovery thing for the Luekemia and Lymphoma Soceity. You raise 3900 dollars for the Soceity and then hike into the Grand Canyon. I am waiting to hear back from the "Gulag" as to whether or not I can solicit donations at work. I hope so because 3900 dollars is not chump change.
Well, my five minutes got extended to 7 and I need ot go do laundry.
SOX still in first!!

Chelloooo

2006-05-12T09:56:00.000-05:00

So the Red Sox took two out of three from the Evil Empire. That makes me happy. Nasty injury for the Yanks, though. Matsui, their left fielder, was making a sliding catch and his glove looked like it caught the grouns wrong and snappo. He is having surgery today. Nastee.
Work is work. I would like to say it is going well but not. We have to sell certain things that quite frankly, I am not overly comfortable with selling. Credit card insurances, personal loans that can cause people to become more indebted. I know and have preached that people make their own decisions to become indebt and over extended but I also think that sometimes the oppurtunities are coming too quickly and easily. As a for instance. If you have, say, 15000 in credit card debt. 2 car loans of about a total of 25000. A home loan of 100000. And you have a total household income of 60000. And I tell you we can do a home equity loan, roll all of your debt into one payment and make it mostly tax deductible, you would, chances are, take it. So now, you have a home loan of 150,000 (10k for "home improvements" that never get done). Will you stop using your credit cards? For a while maybe. Then you call to ask what your rate is and I offer you 15000 into your checking account at 2.99 for 7 months. You say well, I am trying to cut back but maybe 10000. So now you have 10000 for those "home improvements". You have made the payments on your equity line but you are still at 95% of the value of the home. Car breaks down, you don't like the color of it or maybe it just isn't stylish anymore, whatever, you go and get a new minivan. 30000. 7 months go by and now your rate is 15.99 on the 9000 you had planned on paying off. Mean while, you have used your other credit cards for the normal things you buy all the time. So, you have your home equitied to 95%, cards maxed out to 32000, a 30000 car loan, and right back where you were a year ago. And now, your debt to income level is almost even(every dollar you make equals every dollar you owe or more) and there is no way you can mortgage anything else in your life to get out of the whole. AND the credit card companies figure that you are now a bad risk and increase your rates to over 25 per cent. If you miss a payment, everything jumps considerably. And you call me for help, and I am expected to try to get you to do it all again. This is not an exaggerration, I get this call atleast 10 times a day.
I had a bad call yesterday. This gentleman called and I noticed his account had charged off. That means he didn't make a payment for 6 straight months and we sold it to a collection agency. He said, well, I have a story. Everyone has a story. He had been out of the country, back to his homeland in South Africa and on his way back into the U.S., he was detained by the INS because his name was on THE LIST. He said he was detained, he said illegally, I don't know or won't guess, for over a year. He was finally released when they figured out it wasn't him. He said he lost his business, his house, his wife, his family, his car and he wanted to know what I was going to do to help him. Yeah. I call over to our collections department that handles charged off accounts and explain the situation, she said, oh that sucks. We can't help him. Call the collection agency. But I start. We can't help him. I call the collection agency to explain, the guy says, is he able to make a payment? I was stunned. Ummm, did you hear anything I said????
Listen, I know we are in the business to make money. I understand that. I am in the business to make money. But we always talk about customer service, customer delight, do the right thing. What was the right thing for this gentleman? I don't know but I think it probably was something other than, can you make a payment today.....
Trust me, I have no issue with INS stopping people at the boarder and checking. I encourage it. But I think if there is an error or mistake we need to make it right. I know I can't make a huge difference but I will try to make a little one.
Hey, the Red Sox are in the lead in the American League East!

Day 2 at the salt mine

2006-05-02T15:17:00.000-05:00

ok look. It isn't any more fun now than it was 6 weeks ago. Maybe less so. The attitude that is going around is as pervasive as the Pachoolie (I know I spelled it wrong but who the hell knows how to spell "STENCH") at an Earth First! illegal camp a rama. Yeah, they were here last weekend as well. Oh I missed the oppurtunities there.....
Anyway, It seems that with the changes in goals and such that like 50% of the work force is on some sort of performance notice and noone cares. The other internet support team has had 4 people quit and on our team I know of one person who is going to put notice in and possibly a seond person. And no, it's not me. Yet.
I talked to my supervisor today very frankly and it seems that that is the way it is and if you don't like it, well, maybe this isn't the job for you. Yeah. Supportive.
on a brighter note, we are moving into a bigger place. A three bedroom house with ocean views. Nice nice.
I am really not a blog person. I really don't care what you ate for dinner and how little Johnny blew snot bubbles and the cat ate them and that you went out on a great date with DATE MAN or how your ex is an ass hole(isn't everyone's? and if you are and ex, guess what) oor any of that crap. But, I found a cool one http://www.waiterrant.net . It's pretty cool. He is a New York City waiter who tells about his days. Very Entertaining.
So my throat feels ok. It was getting sore earlier but I wasn't practicing proper resonance. Like I know what resonance is let alone how to practice it properly. My life. Almost hoping it blows out again and I have to learn sign language. Or better printing skills.
OH!! I found a new cause. See I knew there was something. The Lymphoma and Luekemia Society has this thing call Hike For Discovery. Basically, you get donations and then go and do a major league hike in the name of a victim. I am all over it. There is a meeting in a few days in Boston I am going to try to go to. Sounds interesting anyways.
Poop. I am tired and have run out of thoughts. Magine that?
Be well and let me leave you with this, if Jimmy cracked corn and noone cared, why did he continue to crack corn????

Dave is back, back again

2006-05-01T09:46:00.000-05:00

Back to the salt mine. Back on the chain gang. So I worked at the bakery yesterday. I got home at 127 AM. Into bed at 149 AM. Woke her up by accident. I hate when I do that. I feel guilty. But today, a twist. Back to "THE BANK". My surgically induced vacation is over. I didn't do much. But it felt good. I am doing an ease back program. Today and tomorrow will be 4 hours. Wednesday and Thursday will be 6 hour days. Then Friday it's back to 8. I kinda wish I could come up with a way to do something else. With g-f still in school, though, I kind of have to wait. I think that with her graduating next May and entering the workforce and oldest boy graduating from high school and middle son wanting to come and live with me, I think that I will be able to take a step next May.
We are moving to a nice big house the end of the month. Still renting but all the same. I hate moving. I really, really do. She says it will give her a chance to clean out some of her stuff. We are planning a huge yard sale.
Well, I am in need of a shower and psyking myself up to go into the gulag. Peace.

Sorry

2006-04-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile. I have been busy. Says me anyway. I have been out of work since 3/20 with vocal chord surgery. Big old mucoid cyst on the right vocal fold. They went in and took it out. I couldn't talk for a week and then spent the next week in light talk. I went back into work on monday the 3rd of April. Then I have been out ever since.
I must say, not working kinda sucks. I started going cabin feverish. So, I took a part time job as a baker's assistant. I love it. It is a lot of fun. It's the first time I have ever had a job making something. I can see me doing it for a while.
The"bank" on the other hand, I don't think so much. I haven't been in for a month and quite frankly, am a little worried about getting back into it. I ain't into it. They have laid off some people. I volunteered but they didn't pick me.
Personal, things are well. We "rescued" a girl from an abusive relationship. Poor girl. He was beating the living day lights out of her and she has had drug issues off and on. He is a massive druggy as well. He is in jail. He was out on probation for beating the crap out of his first wife. She is easily swayed and apparently did some drugs last weekend and then was smart anough to check into rehab. I really feel for her. Good kid just has massive issues.
I have spent waaaaaaay too much money this last couple of weeks. I have spent about 500 at auctions.
Well, I know this is an unusual post for me but I promise to be better!
kisses

Can you hear me now?

2006-03-23T09:12:00.000-05:00

Probably not. I had vocal chord surgery on monday. No talkie until atleast saturday. All week off. no talking. Shhhhhhhhhh
I think I am also going to be out next week. The Dr seemed surprised when I explained exactly what I do at work. When someone says they talk all day, people think oh they talk alot. I talk for 8 straight hours. Constant. If I take more than 35 seconds between calls, I get spoken to. I get 15 minutes off the phone twice a day and then an hour lunch.
The Dr seemed shocked and said I should probably have a second week. That will be nice.
I am taking middle son down to the skate park to try to clean it up some and start a log of what needs repairing. He needs some focus. He is like his dad in that we really kind of float thru trying not to bump into things and make it as easy as possible.
I am sorry this is a quickie but I am not feeling well. I will be back on later and see what's up.
Hey, if any one is out there, an occasional hi would be nice to know that someone looks at this.....

tired

2006-03-11T07:39:00.000-05:00

I had plan a long dissertation on my job and how inadequate I feel every day going through the turnstile. I was going to go off an a tangent about terms and words and cliches that are batnied about that no one really knows what they mean. About the little pieces of motivational speeches that are taken out of context and distorted to the point that the author would often times not know that they even said them. I was going to rail about the system being, in general, flawed and exploited. I was going to ramble endlessly about how being a number in a large corporate machine that really treats you only as a number and how easy it would be to hide and how those who are assigned to watch my every move and hear my every word and tell me exactly what to say and then cover their own asses by saying it was only guidance, not a verbatim script because we want you to think on your own only to a certain point and then do as we wish but only how we wish and as long as you further the company goal which is actually to make money kind of sucks. I was thinking about comparing it to the wheel in a hamsters cage.
I was going to go on about how I feel trapped. I was going drole on about how miserable I feel walking into work most days. How dirty I feel when I high pressure someone into taking a product that both I and the person taking the product know is no good to them. How we both do it out of rote.
I was going to talk about a contest that MTV, when they played music, had back in the late 80's early 90's that was called "I Hate My Miserable Life" and how this lady got a Volkswagon convertible Rabbit (weren't they the shit?) because she made it soud like her life sucked more than anyone else's. I can still picture as being a cross between Tootie and Roseanne. I was going to compare that to my life now and how I could probably win a 1989 Rabbit for my story.
No I decided not to go down that road. Stay above the fray. I am too tired of it to discuss it. So I instead inserted "My Open Letter To All Womankind" as a repeat.
Sorry no work bashing today. No discussion of the salt mine. The Gulag is off limits today.

short rant

2006-03-11T07:33:00.000-05:00

OPEN LETTER TO ALL WOMANKIND

“You are a nice guy, you really are. It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t think we really met on an emotional level.” It’s the same thing. It’s like it comes from a script. Almost every guy can recite it. The “You’re a nice guy, but…” speech. Every guy has had it used on them. And the kicker of it is that we don’t really think of ourselves as nice guys. Well, not bad guys but nice is just so, blah.

One day you are sitting with her watching a Lifetime movie when you would rather be gouging your eyes out just because she watched the latest Jett Li flick with you. The next day she dumps you. Via email. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too, sugarplum. Or you set another date after what you think was a couple of very nice dinner dates or coffee dates and she calls and says she has the flu. Then she has to work. Then she says she thinks she is falling in love. And you get that double pronged pitchfork of fear in your stomach. One is the thought of, Oh my God; I am no where near ready for that. The other is the immediate next thought that inevitably proves to be true. It’s someone else. Thanks. No really. Thanks. Thanks for not letting me get my hopes up again. Thanks for not letting me hang out there thinking, maybe just maybe.

I think men get a bad rap. We get the insensitive label. We don’t call because it’s easier than actually coming up with reasons not to see you. We could tell you the truth, most guys would prefer that. But who wants to deal with all of the questions? We don’t connect on an emotional level. Yeah, imagine John Wayne using that line.

I don’t hate women. I don’t. I try not to generalize women or try to categorize them. Sometimes it’s hard not to. And if it’s not nice guys that women want, then tell Oprah! Women wonder where we get these ideas of what women want. I read Cosmo, Glamour, and a few other women’s magazines when I am in the bathroom. It is spread throughout those pages. It even bleeds over to our magazines. We are told be sensitive. Talk about her shoes. That was my favorite one. I care about your shoes about like you care about the tires on my car. We are inundated with all of these ideas about how we are supposed to act, what we are supposed to say. There volumes of books and magazines that will fill many a library written solely about what women want. And they are multiplying like tribbles on the Starship Enterprise.

Saturday 11 FEB

2006-02-12T11:32:00.000-05:00

It's days like today that make me wonder where and how I went wrong. Did I run over someone's cat and cause a Kharma issue? Do I not have my furniture arranged in the proper Feng Shui? Are my reds too red or my greens too yellow? Should I be praying to a cow?
I case I haven't mentioned it, I answer the phones for a MAJOR credit card issuing bank here in Mid-Coast Maine. If that doesn't ring a bell, let me add that we were just gobbled up like so much turkey at Thanksgiving diiner by another large bank whose offices are in Charlotte, NC, whose name I won't mention to protect, well, me.
I don't want to offend anyone (you ever notice that when domeone says that or "with all due respect" what they really mean is, "Hey, listen. I know you will be offended and I have no respect whatsoever for you or any of your ancestry and probably the next four generations to follow you, but in order to avoid litigation, possible firing and/or an ass whupping, I feel obligated to offer up this pitiful veiled disclaimer. Have a nice day, you ignorant ass!"), but if you have nothing better to do at 10 am on a Saturday morning than call your credit card company and complain about how long it has taken you to earn enough points to get that new beannie baby, well, no wonder the test scores of the children in the United States have slipped so far in the last 50 years. GET A LIFE!
But that's neither here nor there. I guess that is my issue. I think that I am capable of soooo much more in this or any other life. It is sometimes easier to not put forth any more effort and just kind of float through the day. I have been fortunate to have been able to weasel myself into a position that, quite frankly, requires little or no thought, effort and zero physical exertion. I am not challenged and that shows thoughout my lackluster performance. I often get asked the question, "If you don't like it here and don't seem to really care, why stay?" Honestly? 42K a year, the best medical and dental package around, new glasses every other year, no one stabbing, shooting, throwing bodily fluids at or on me. Add to it, $2000 in schooling paid for each year and the four children I support and there are my excuses. All in all, it's not a bad job, just boring as all get out.
I have dreams of going to a culinary school and opening my own fine Irish/Old world restaurant with a pub atmosphere. Of course, 10 years ago I thought about trying to turn pro as a golfer. 4 years ago it a professional poker player. When I was 8, I KNEW I was going to be the greatest drag racer ever. At 19 I knew I was going to die in some Central America jungle that noone had ever heard of all for the beauracracy of the government I had sworn to defend and honor. That one almost came true. The others? Let's just close that thought with, I drive a mini van,
I guess in my stretch to find anything that resembles a point, it would be that I am unsettled and unsatisfied. My theory is that the first step to any recovery is identifying that there is a problem. Next step is to do something about it. So I am planning to go to culinary school. Or hot rodding the Caravan....

the story

2006-02-04T11:33:00.000-05:00

I have been working on a movie now for going on two years. I have like twenty-five, thirty minutes of it all written and played out in my head. I am stuck. But here is what I have so far:

My movie: Preamble

With my eyes closed, it doesn't seem so bad. Almost palatable. The story isn't easy. It hurts sometimes. The wounds, the pain, the anguish. Shane Falco said, "Pain heals, chicks dig scars and glory is forever." I am waiting on the glory thing. As I sit here, letting the darkness envelope me and leting my thoughts go, it gets easier. A little. I can even chuckle. It isn't the greatest story ever told. It's just mine.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned...."

In the Beginning

When I was in the 10th ^{grade, I got called into the guidance counselors office for the "Here’s Your Future" conversation. It was your stereotypical high school guidance counselor office. SAT study books, which college is right for you books, child development books, behavioral studies books all stacked on shelves that looked like they were falling apart and in old post office crates stacked all around the room. The papers on her desk looked as if at any moment they would crash down and maim whoever disturbed them. The obligatory posters on the fake wood paneled walls from the Army, Navy, Don’t Smoke, Drugs are for losers. Yeah, stereotypical.}

^{Though she couldn’t have been more than forty, Ms Guidance Counselor seemed old and frumpy to me in her ugly striped shirt, bad skirt and blood shot eyes. She almost reeked of her realization of mid-life complacency. She asked me what I wanted to do with my life.}

^{Do with my life? At 16, I didn’t know what I wanted to do for lunch. I sat there.}

^{She asked again. "What do you want to do? Your grades are average at best. You have a lot of potential. You just need to come up with something and go with it. We can help you get there." She seemed to be pleading with me so that in her lonely existence in future years when one of her pupils became a somebody she could lay claim to the fact that she counseled them and then write a book about all of her wisdom that would become yet another tome to add to some other poor guidance counselors falling down bookshelf.}

^{I sat there.}

^{"Well?" she demanded.}

^{So I said the first thing that came into my mind. "I want to be a butcher."}

^{"A butcher?" I could tell she didn’t get it.}

^{I sat there.}

^{She seemed perplexed. "You want to be a butcher?"}

^{"Well, yeah", I started. "But not your average every day butcher. I want to be a third world leader in what I call a communist paradise but what the reporter doing a human rights story right before I have her and her cameraman kidnapped and tortured and killed called a terror regime held together with fear and intimidation. I want to be a butcher in the sense of Idi Amim and Pol Pot."}

^{Ms. Guidance counselor sat there. I could sense her dismay so I decided to give her some other options for my future. "Well, that or a cult leader", I added.}

^{On my way back to geometry class, I got to wondering. How do you get that first person to believe you are the Son of God?}

^{The Continuance}
^{So add 15 years. Here I sit. This twenty-something, self important executive type is interviewing me for a new position. Sitting in her high back leather chair behind her pseudo wood desk, her nails just so, in her designer dress, she exemplifies someone who has been climbing the corporate food chain based mostly on good looks and affirmative action. She is about to ask me what my short and long term goals are.}

^{"So, what would you say your short terms goals are?"}

^{I want to say to not get fired…..}

^{Instead, I said, "I would like to take this opportunity to see other departments within the bank and get more experience to grow my knowledge and become a better rounded productive account manager for the bank."}

^{"And your long term goals?" she asked right on cue.}

^{Again I stifle the first thought of: To make it thru every day resisting the urge to whip out an AK 47 and go postal…..}

^{Falling into the politically correct safe answer, "I hope to become an asset and make my way to an analyst position and hopefully eventually into a managerial position."}

^{Shuffling thru papers, making it look like she is actually considering me, "Well, you really haven’t shown us your full potential and until you do we really don’t think that at this time we are going to offer you the position." Like I didn’t see this coming. "I do appreciate you interest and hope that you don’t take this as anything other than an opportunity to excel." As she starts to stand, she hits me with one more, "Thank you for coming in today."}

^{Choking back a ‘Fuck you very much!’, I extend my hand and swallow every once of pride and ego I have and mumble "No, thank you for the opportunity and experience of posting for the position."}

^{On my walk back to my cubby past the masses answering call after call I wonder where I can get my hands on an AK and about a thousand rounds of ammo.}

^{The Mid-Life Thing}
^{Add a year. Atleast I have the home life. My 10th wedding anniversary. I get the day off but slip out like I am going to work anyway and instead hit the florist for a dozen roses. The charming devil that I am, I also have reservations at a nice little restaurant. I throw open the doors and proclaim, "Hey honey, happy anniversary!"}

^{As she stands there in her black lycra stretch pants and her red checked flannel shirt with a cigarette clenched in her teeth, I know now why it is that I truly love her. It is for her…}

^{"I need 60 bucks to file the divorce papers", she proclaimed.}

^{Wow. And I was going to use that for ammo…….}

^{"And I’ll be at my boyfriends!" she added just for good measure, I guess. She pushed past me on the way out the door.}

^{Huh. Must have been a last to know thing.}

^{The Depths}
^{So here I sit. Just another nameless face in just another corner bar drinking away my troubles with a beer and a shot and a beer and a shot. Chased with a beer and a shot. Never quite living up to my potential. Ain’t that my story. Never quite living up to my potential. Always right there at not needing to be spoken to but never quite leading the pack. Sometimes it’s best to fly right there in the radar mess. Blend. Be the one that is "dependable" but not exceptional. Slamming a shot, my only coherent thought, ‘Tequila good.’}

^{"So Cliff, you need another?" asked the trampy beermaid dressed in the uniform of trampy beermaids. Too tight jeans with a tear in just the right spot and that hang just low enough to show her neon pink thong. Black tight belly shirt showing her beer gut complete with mandatory belly button ring. Add to it the fact that my name is not Cliff….}

^{"Sure but the good stuff this time", making her do her job for once.}

^{"Is there such a thing as good tequila?" showing her ignorance. Is there such a thing as good beer maid?}

^{"Top shelf if you could"}

^{As the beermaid pours a shot and dribbles some of the nectar of the gods onto the bar, she spits out, "Nine bucks."}

^{Throwing a ten on the bar, I start conversation. "So Maria," knowing her name is Tanya, but hey turn about, "Whatcha think about running away to Las Vegas with me?" As she puts a dollar on the bar, "Keep it."}

^{Making an attempt at stuffing the bill into her too tight pocket she responds with, "I don’t think my boyfriend would like it."}

^{"So don’t tell him," slamming it back.}

^{Her only response, "Last Call!"}

^Revelations
^{As I walked home, alone, in the pouring rain and blowing wind, I got to thinking. I wonder what my potential is? The dictionary defines potential as an adjective and a noun as capable of being developed or used. Budding, developing, dormant, latent, capability, possibility, promise. Yeah, that’s pretty much me. Classic underachiever. I once read that some guy who is supposed to be smart and know such things, said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result. I don’t know. I think he was close but not quite. I think insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and not caring if there is a different result. Just doing it every day, every time and just doing it. Apathy, ambivalence, indifference. Reaching my door, I wonder. What if this it? What if this my potential?}

^{Then I realized I left my keys on the bar. Who says God watched over drunks, kids and Irishmen?}

And so it begins.....

2006-02-04T10:11:00.000-05:00

Ok, look. I am not one to follow trends and all. I try to be out front and lead the pack. However, this blog thing has really taken off. And I won't be left behind!! I will not lie to you and tell you I will update it frequently. As a matter of fact, I just found this bookmarked in my browser, untouched for over a year. However, there are things I am doing that I think the whole world needs to know. Narcissism rules!
To start with, when I was like 20, I sang in a punk band. Well, I yelled alot in front of people with a band behind me. Well, after one particulary long weekend of yelling and drinking, I woke up Monday spitting blood and unable to speak. Every since, I have talked with an extremely gruff and hoarse voice. Advance about 20 years to last month and my doctor says, hey, why are you so hoarse all of the time? I smiled and thought back to my youth before my hopes, dreams and ambitions were destroyed and crushed like a beer can at a frat party and regaled him with the story. He put on a fake smile as I mentioned the name of the band(Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers). Then he told me he was making an appointment with an ear, nose and throat specialist. So this week, I went. The ENT doctors are husband and wife. He is like, maybe, 60. She might be 40. So they stick this tube camera thing down my nose. Oh, he stuffed novacained gauze up my nostrils first. It was a funny feeling having my nose and sinuses go numb for the whole day. Cleaned the snot out well, I must confess. Well, he takes like two pictures and says mo meed for mre and then showed me what he saw. There is this humungous thing on my vocal chord. He says oh, Dr Liz will love to see this and goes scurrying out of the room. So into another exam room I am drug. Now it's down the throat pictures. He held my tongue and then, no shit, asks if I am married. More pictures, only video now. Apparently this cyst/lession/growth/mass/thingy has been impeding my vocal chords from working properly and causing me to use my false vocals chords causing the rough voice. Listen to me talking like I have a clue as to what I am talking about...... Surgery is scheduled. I have never had surgery. I have been knocked out three times. Once in a boxing ring, once with a shovel and once with a baseball bat. Oh, one more thing. I got the pictures. I thought about submitting them with my passport application. I mean, how people have what Dr Liz described as "the biggest vocal chord cyst she had ever seen!" I think she got excited and not in the cheerleader way, if you know what I mean! I was going to upload it on here but can't figure it out. I think the pic is too big. It will show up eventually.